Friday, August 18, 2023

 Is six years long enough? Nothing and everything has changed. I'm finally medicated just not the way I thought I'd be. Turns out ADHD can really mess with a person's life. With the renewed ability to follow my thoughts through, my overwhelm and anxiety are lessened and I'm able, with more regularity, to function adequately. 

50 has been a bit of a trip, so far. I don't know exactly what I expected but I'm learning too expect nothing, predict nothing. Just living is enough.

Those are words I never expected to use, ever. It's not that I've found a new lust for life. No, I have no real attachment to living. I never acknowledged the possibility of living to a ripe old age as a person with a lifetime subscription to severe depression. It's simply that I have noticed that life keeps going and will continue to do so and I can either spend that time wishing it would stop or I can do some dishes, take a dog for a walk, watch something on Netflix, chat with a friend, draw a thing... And tomorrow will come again until it doesn't. Not sunshiny, not dark. Just Is.

And until the last sunset, there's always something to do.


Until next time, I'm signing off.